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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Sad Heart

Difficult day today - we all have them and nothing to be ashamed about.

I had a reading tonight before evening meal of 71 and I was getting the cold sweats and shakes - have not experienced that since coming off medications - I hope it is a good sign.  I reached out to my ADA community support group for some ideas - glad they were there for me.

This past week has been a pretty heavy intense set of posts and I hope you are thinking about your journal and your journey.

I am sitting here tonight working late - or early and yes I will miss sleep tonight.  It is part of the job and I know it will impact my blood glucose - but stuff has to get done.

So while I sit here, I go out to the ADA community and read messages and also my own blog comments and emails.

In both sections today I received some really heart breaking news and on top of that, I had a co-worker say some really nasty things about me.  I have gone through life and have never felt hate towards anyone and probably do not feel that now - but I am struggling for the first time actually forgiving someone.

If that is not bad enough - my wife is in Florida helping her parents and I miss her so much.  While she is down there she got sick and I cannot be there to help her - so I am an emotional wreck tonight - reader beware.

But that is not for this blog on diabetes, but the other disturbing events are.  So while it is weighing on my heart and I have nothing else to do but watch jobs execute on the computer, I am going to let you be my ears today as my feelings poor out.

I am not intending this to be political in anyway and many of my international friends will understand some of the same issues in their country.  You see, I have had the opportunity in my life to manage people in 21 different countries and have gotten to know a lot of people around the world.  I think that is why I am so excited to see people from all countries reading the blog.

The news is simple - people need our help and prayers and I am going to reach out tonight for your prayers and support.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People.

Many of you have noticed Marty adding comments to these posts.  She and her husband have diabetes and other ailments.  I know I am older than she is but I still see her as an expert, a mentor, and a friend - yet I have never met her and cannot tell you much about her.

If you read her comments on the journaling post yesterday - you noticed she was asking for prayers for Dora.  So my request is that we all add Dora to our prayers.  I am not particular who your higher power is, please let them know about Dora.  Oh yeah - they already do - we just need to remind them we care.

In case you did not read the comments, Dora is 87 years old, in a nursing home in this great country, has lost both her legs to diabetes, and does not appear to be getting the care she should.  Shame on all of us for letting one person go through this suffering.  We are a greater nation than this - or I hoped we were / are.

My heart aches at times like this because as a human being I desperately want to know how bad things happen to good people.  How do those that appear to love God and are faithful - become afflicted with such a bad outcome?  I could go on this topic forever.  I simply let myself rest after a while knowing that maybe just maybe, there is more to all of this then what happens here on earth.

I imagine Dora staying in the Big House above and she will have a beautiful body for all of eternity and her pain and suffering will be replaced by loving arms and a joy none of us can imagine.  He suffering here on earth and her faith will elevate her into a much higher status when she goes to be with God.

So please add Dora to your prayers and others that are suffering.  Our prayers should be of her getting the right help and to help reduce some of the suffering.

Why must someone go short of strips? 

I was also reading some messages today on the ADA community and noticed that a young mother (29) of two children is not testing because she cannot afford strips until payday.  In this country that is sad.  Those strips do not cost that much to make and yet it is easy to keep the price high when us diabetics have to buy them.

Even Marty talks about going short once in a while because the government will only buy so many.  I too faced that with the VA and found it strange that they only wanted me to test 2 times a week!!  How does that help me help myself.  Is it hard for me to understand that if we catch a young individual and move them towards preventative solutions and education - we will stop the next Dora from happening.

You want to know what my real delima is? I too have financial problems from a failed business and the 2008 world credit crisis.  For several years I could not afford the strips and did what the VA asked me to do and struggle through it all.  Now things are a little better and I can afford to get what I need - no insurance or VA help.

But, I still want to reach out to that young mother and say - do not go short of strips.  Let me help you in anyway I can.  

But I am afraid of how it will be taken or how she might interpret my meaning.  How sad is that? I am struggling with that and wish my wife was here to talk it over with her.  She is my best friend and usually keeps me think through these events.

I am a very logical and result driven individual at work - but on the street, I lead with my heart.  I just know there are ways to help.

Finding a way to help.

As I sit here, working on my computer, I am suddenly struck with an idea.  I have architect some of the world's largest systems.  I have helped big companies get their products to you faster, I have helped banks move money, and I have helped insurance companies develop policies.

Now I am in the health care industry and is my last horizon and hopefully end before I retire - if I ever do.

So why not put something together for the diabetics of this world.  As I look back on my journey, I had to find different products to help and yet I never did find a really good journaling system.  I found bits and pieces every where.

Since I have the knowledge and most likely have the means to get this done - I will work on the concept over the next few weeks and  see what I can do.

Not being a marketer, but I think something nice like Dora' would be a nice thing to get in place in honor of her and the a person I would say has caused me to get serious about helping where I can.

I will ask each of you to join me in a pledge.  We diabetics, and those who have diabetic family members, will work together as a community to help diabetics help themselves.  We will find ways to provide tools, support, and even money where possible so no diabetic has to feel alone or they cannot afford the supplies they so desperately need.  I know the ADA is a great source but we can go farther as a team.

Now that I have lost you all together, my apologies but sometimes I you just have to lay it out on the table.  By me ranting, I feel better now as there is something we can do.

Here is how my crazy mind thinks - and it is crazy ask my wife.  There are 27 million people afflicted with this disease.  Let's assume that 50% of those test once a day.  Now let's assume that strips can cost $.10 / a strip - and that would be cheap.  That means 13 million people spend $.10/day or $1,300,000 / day spent on strips and I can tell you it is more than that.  What would happen then if we could just harness a small piece of that - we could have a private fund to help Dora, the young mother, or even Marty when they need supplies.

No, I have no idea how to do that but I will figure it out.

Now my sadness has been turned into a real energy boost - I better go to bed before I give myself a brain aneurism.

May God grant Dora some peace with her remaining time here on earth.  May he grant her many friends and many visits from Marty.  May he grant all of us the courage to mention her in our daily prayers and lift up her burden to the one who can help.

Thanks for listening tonight - it is greatly appreciated.



  1. I read this yesterday and cried at your sad but endearing post! Thank you for your concern for all people with diabetes. Maybe some day with more understanding by doctors, dieticians, and general public things will begin to change for the better.

    God Bless You and Yours Bob.


    1. Marty,

      All God's children are important but it breaks my heart when our dreaded disease takes limbs as well and that does not get people's attention.

      God has blessed me and thank you for the blessing.


Please leave your comments or suggestions - looking to getting some good discussions going. Tell me what you have tried and what has or has not worked.

Thanks for the support